Perils of the perfection path

To err is human.

Do you remember the time when you were a kid and your teacher gave you the assignment to draw something?

If not, next time you meet your relatives’ kids, give them an A-4 sheet and some crayons or different colour pens and ask them to draw whatever they like.

As they get busy creating their masterpiece, observe keenly how they behave. Do they seem to have any apprehensions about what people might say about it? Or are they deeply engrossed in it expressing all their creativity? Most probably, I assume that it would be the latter.

The Child’s way of learning

As children, we are less conscious of being perfect. Be it with regards to taking the first few steps, saying the word “amma”, or even writing the first alphabet. There is no imaginary standard that we keep for ourselves. We try, we fail, we fall, we cry and we try again. This loop continues until we learn to do those things in a much better way.

Where did we lose our way?

I feel like school was the first place where we are taught about perfection. The place where comparisons set in. The teacher lauds and gives a toffee to the best drawing. The same kid who had no apprehensions to draw feels very reluctant to do so. His drawing might actually be quite good. But in comparison to some other kid, he feels that it is bad.

From here there are two paths that the kid can take. One could be that the kid eventually stops drawing. The other could be that he continues to draw imperfect drawings and eventually improves with practice.

Influence of Social Media

Another major source of comparisons comes from various social media platforms. We try to put on our best versions of ourselves for the fear of being judged. At times, even If I like some post by a friend, I rarely even comment on Social media for the fear of being judged. I might prefer to convey the message to my friend separately. Have you ever felt this way?

Lessons from Nature

Two trees that grow beside each other do not compare themselves with others about how fast they are growing. It is an organic growth process that eventually results in a large tree that gives shade to many.

Source: Unsplash

Take a moment to reflect

Has there been something in your own life which you used to pursue with a lot of excitement? But you stopped doing it or are waiting for the perfect moment to do it.

Sometimes in the pursuit of perfection, we end up never starting what we want to do.

Perfectionists end up being frustrated or become procrastinators. The problem is limited if these unrealistic standards that we set for ourselves remain with us. The problem gets worse when we start expecting perfection from the people around us. (Remember Monica the perfectionist?)

There is nothing wrong with learning how to do something perfectly. I feel the problem is about where our focus lies. Instead of keeping perfection as the goal, we should strive for consistency in our efforts and Perfection will be an eventual outcome.

I do hope that we can rekindle our childlike enthusiasm while pursuing our goals.

Do share your thoughts about perfectionism : )

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P.S: I'm sharing my early thoughts. I encourage readers to share their own experiences to help refine my thinking.